“You don’t act 23.”
That statement rolls off of someones tongue at least once a day. I’ve never been the type to want to show my age. I’d rather everyone think I am way beyond my years and have it all together. But lately I’ve been questioning myself – Why am I in such a rush to get older?
Everything has always been laid out for me like someone had showed me my deck of tarot cards and I was on a mission to follow them. Graduate high school, go to college for the one thing I knew I wanted to do, get my degree, get a good job, move out, etc. etc. etc. Now that all those childhood long-term goals have been completed, I’m starting to see all the things that I missed along the way, so many chances to be stupid and carefree. I’ve never been carefree and willing to let myself make silly, immature mistakes. But what if we really are supposed to make them? What if I was so focused on growing up, I forgot to actually be a teenager, and a 20-year-old and a 21,22,23-year-old?
It’s never a bad thing to be the responsible one. The one with a good head on their shoulders. But it is always a bad idea to skip out on the fun for the sake of being good, being bright, being mature.
I told myself while in college “Study now, party later”. I knew that when I graduated college, partying would be so much better because I would have the money, the apartment and the means to have fun. But now that I’m here, I need to start living for the “good in life” and not just the “what’s right in life”. I need to start letting my guard and ambitions down just a touch, so I can start seeing the beauty of the world, and not just the bills.
If you asked me if I could go back to college and party more, I would say you’re out of your mind. But I do wish I let myself live a little more. I wish I let myself go out a little more, and blow things off a little more. I’m still so young, so now I’m ready to feel it!