Why My Mom Gives the Best Advice By Not Giving Advice

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Throughout my life, I’ve always told my mom everything. She is the first person I call as soon as I have a free second, who I’m texting throughout the entire day, who I complain to and tell really pointless stories to. No matter what – she listens and responds with great enthusiasm. I always knew I was lucky to be so incredibly close to her and felt so comfortable sharing my life with her.

ImageLately, I’ve come to realize why I am able to do that. Not only is she a very judgement-free, lighthearted and loving person, but because she doesn’t give me advice. My mom has always treated me like a person. Keeping quiet when she knew I was about to make a silly mistake, letting me talk myself through things. We rarely end a conversation with her trying to convince me to do something different, or change my mindset. When I talk to her, I feel like I’m talking to an older sister. She’s always been on my side, understanding and listening to me, rather than trying to project her opinions and personal experiences on me.

I’m not going to lie, I was/am a pretty responsible kid. I absolutely hate getting in trouble and love accomplishments. I don’t recall really ever going through a phase where I hated my parents and locked myself in my room/dungeon for any reason besides I was trying to do homework. But my mom has always approached my aimless babble with a kind heart and open ears.

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Sometimes I do need her. But I am not afraid to ask for it. “What do you think I should do?” Unless I’m in danger or am about to drain my savings account on a new Michael Kors bag, she supports me and what I say.

My mom gives the best advice by not giving advice at all. She listens to me, instead of having a predetermined view of how a situation in my life is going to go based on her own. By her doing so, she has stitched love, affection, understanding and empathy into the seams of my life.

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